FAQ: Teachers’ Edition

On nearly every website, there is a little section called “F.A.Qs”- frequently asked questions. There, the business or company will outline the most common customer concerns.

Well, I have searched the world over, and my journey has been fruitless.

Nowhere are we teachers represented.

Never fear, fellow teachers: I have created the FAQs: Teachers’ Edition.

Below you will find the questions students most often ask teachers.

***DISCLAIMER***

This is how my students talk, and to do those kiddos justice, I refuse to correct their grammar as I write this.

Plus, well, it makes for a much more interesting write up.

To help with organization, I have put the following questions into various categories, but no matter the grouping, all questions always begin with my two least favorite words:

“Mi’ Meadows…”

Who-What-When-Where-Whys

  1. WHO GOT MY CHROMEBOOK?!
  2. What’s my number again?
  3. When can I make up my quiz?
    • 95% of the time, this will be in reference to a quiz from 6 months ago.
  4. Where yo’ bathroom pass?
  5. Why can’t we just chill today?

Anybody Gots

  1. Anybody got a bathroom pass?
  2. Anybody got paper?
  3. Anybody got a pencil?

Alas, it is May. We have no paper, no pencils, no bathroom passes, and no nerves left.

You Gots*

*Differing from “Anybody Gots” in that these are directed specifically at me.

  1. You got a band-aid?
  2. You got any Germ-X?
  3. You got any lotion?

Personal Questions

  1. How old are you?
  2. Are you married?
  3. You got a boyfriend?
  4. You and that boy still date?
  5. How many cups of coffee you drink this morning?
    • Not enough…It’s never enough

Explicit Question

  1. Can I say (insert likely explicit term) in your class?
    • A question almost always followed by a detention.

I Cans

  1. I can sit in your seat?
  2. I can control your computer today?
  3. I can go to the nurse?
  4. I can have some of that?
    • Sparked by the student seeing food or drink on my desk.

Take Me Now, Jesus

  1. This gone be on the test?
  2. Wait… I needa write this down?
  3. What time is it? No, I can’t read that clock.
    • Always in reference to an analog clock.
  4. We do anything yesterday?
  5. Wait…we got a quiz today?
    • Always asked on our WEEKLY quiz day- as in, this never changes.
  6. Do we need to write in full sentences?

Financial Concerns

  1. You wanna buy any (insert fundraiser product here)?
    • Products including (but not limited to)…
      • Candles
      • Cokes
      • Sheets
      • Candy
      • Pork Chop Plates
      • Raffle Tickets
      • Car Wash Tickets
      • Discount Cards
      • T-Shirts
      • Jackets
      • Cooking Supplies
      • Suitcases and overnight bags
  1. When we having a Meadows Money auction?
  2. You got change for a $5?
  3. You got a quarter?

Hang in there, teachers. Summer is nie.

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